I lost track of how many times the experts told me it was time to give up; that she just wasn’t ready; that I needed to turn and walk away right then. They all said the same thing: When she finally hit bottom she’d come around. She’d accept the truth then, and so would I, that there is no escape from addiction. Not for anyone. Not ever.
They all talked from the same script in the same matter of fact tone – Her addiction was a chronic disease that could not be reversed or fully overcome. She would have to learn how to manage it every day for the rest of her life.
An awful lot of people have been in my same boat and a good share accepted the experts’ advice; they gave up, walked away, and waited. And today in this country, at the rate of 100 people a day, the ones they’ve been waiting for are finally hitting bottom. But from six feet under, they won’t be learning anything more. Ever.
So as I was thinking about my first post, I realized that if I could pass along just one thing of value from all I’ve learned about addiction, the brain and why treatment fails, it would be this: As long as those who are struggling with addiction are alive, never give up; As repeated efforts to lead them to safety fail, never walk away; And as the experts take you through the chronic disease script once again, even if it includes brightly colored brain scans as proof that there’s no way out of addiction, never step back and wait for the bottom.
You see, this thing that everyone knows about addiction being a chronic disease requiring a lifetime of daily management, has never been objectively proved. That’s right. Never proved. Nope.
In fact, volumes of research using advanced brain imaging technology punch so many holes in the entrenched chronic disease theory that if it weren’t for the thriving addiction industry propping it up, it likely could not stand. But we can’t get cocky and say we have all the answers, because the truth is that no one knows for certain just what addiction is. The truth is that addiction is a life-threatening condition that still cannot be objectively detected in the brain, therefore it cannot be objectively defined, diagnosed or treated. That’s right – No one in any field can point to where addiction is in the brain and say, there it is, that’s what we’re dealing with.
So what exactly do we know? A growing body of cutting edge research paints a very different picture of substance abuse and other harmful addictions than what is taught today. It tell us that addiction is not a chronic disease – it’s not a chronic anything. It should be fully treatable; and those struggling with substance abuse and other addictions should be able to fully recover, to enjoy highly rewarding, productive and joy-filled lives – free of their destructive addictions. That’s right too.
All of this will be discussed in as much detail and with as much support as you want in the coming weeks. But I wanted to highlight these few things now so you’ll know the thoughts presented here aren’t coming from a severe case of denial (though I confess there were days that I wondered), and to assure you there is every reason on earth and above to believe that if we don’t give in, but stand up for the truth, we can defeat addiction. It’s for this and for so many more really good reasons that I chose the first and most important thing to share with you: Never, never, never give up. Never. Never.
Spoiler Alert: Though there were turbulent times, we never gave up, and today our daughter is living the wonderful life we all prayed for.